Mobile Loaves & Fishes Blog

Should the disabled #homeless be fined for sitting down?

Richard Troxell is the President and Founder of House the Homeless in Austin, Texas. First and foremost he is an advocate for the rights and dignity of the homeless.  Today as this blog posts the Health and Human Services Committee of the City of Austin is debating whether to amend the no sit/no lying down ordinance to exclude people with verifiable known disabilities.  Incredulously there is a lot of opposition.  Here is Richard's point of view.  We would welcome other points of view and would gladly post.  Needless to say I support Richard's efforts to amend the ordinance.

 Between 2008 and 2010, House the Homeless (HTH) conducted several surveys and gathered others conducted by both the City of Austin and the City of Houston that demonstrated that a majority of people experiencing homelessness want to work. To that end, we have been collaborating with Mobile Loaves and Fishes in our "Let's Get to Work" Jobs Initiative.   A more recent survey conducted in 2010 by House the Homeless shows that 48%, or about half of those experiencing homelessness, are suffering debilitating health problems that are so severe that they are rendered incapable of working.

472 of the 501 people surveyed in this most recent survey felt that they periodically needed to sit down and rest from time to time, but 94% said they were unable to do so as they could not find a bench.  Compounding the situation, there exists a "Quality of Life" ordinance in Austin that prevents people from sitting or lying down making them subject to fines of up to $500.  This ordinance contains only one medical exception and that's for people already sitting in a wheel chair.  There aren't even exceptions for people on crutches or using orthopedic leg braces.   With health concerns ranging from Degenerative Heart Disease to Parkinson's Disease to Degenerative Rheumatoid Arthritis, half of the homeless population is in need of exceptions to the ordinance.

We are now promoting 19 possible exceptions that range from Disability Award letters from the Social Security Administration or the Veterans Administration to participant letters in the David Powell-AIDS Program to people standing in line at a health clinic and so on. Two city-wide stakeholder meetings resulted in two additional recommended exemptions: evidence of taking psychiatric medications or when the heat index hits 100 degrees or more.

House the Homeless has met with all members of City Council and received  favorable support.  We pointed out that if exceptions are granted (as they should be) then people will be sitting down all over the city.  We do not feel that people suffering disabilities should be sitting on the sidewalks etc. House the Homeless took 350 signatures of people requesting benches to the Mayor.  We think that as we encourage people to be more "Green" and to leave their automobiles to create a "world class city" we should provide an ample number of benches to accommodate all citizens. This should include pregnant women, people with Christmas packages and those suffering disabilities.  In response, Mayor Lee Leffingwell has directed the City Council Health and Human Services Committee to review the 19 "exemptions" requested by HTH and consider benches as part of the mitigation response.

Some social service providers have been opposed to benches suggesting their use may lead to illegal drug sales.  HTH contends that drugs can be sold in either a sitting or standing position and in any event, this is a question  of enforcement.  The benches that House the Homeless recommends  have center dividers so as to deter lying down.

The "Stakeholders" who attended the two meetings consisted of the Downtown Austin Alliance, The Austin Chamber of Commerce, about 10 uniformed police officers, their attorney, an attorney for Travis County, Downtown Community Court, City Staffers, a representative from the Omni and the Driscoll Hotels, downtown neighbors, representatives from the Austin Resource Center for the Homeless, ARCH and a representative from Caritas.  They were all joined in opposition and led by Charles Betts from the Downtown Austin Alliance.  As a group and to the last person, they opposed any exceptions or any additional benches intended to be a response to this issue.  Really? A doctor working for the United States Government, determines that a person is disabled after a process that often takes up to 15 months to complete its findings is somehow unacceptable to this group? Or finding of a disability of a Military Medical Review Team for a person willing to sacrifice a leg in Afghanistan  is unworthy of either an exception or a bench?

Today, HTH continues to look toward the Americans with Disabilities Act, ADA, as possible legal recourse to provide the health relief associated with this issue. 

Finally, City staff members have reported that, "the Ordinance is working."  Really? For whom?  In reviewing COA No Sit/No Lying Down ord. citations secured under the Open Records Act, the Community Court  showed 2,729 tickets were issued between January 2009 through December 31st 2009. 70 tickets were subsequently dismissed with 708 convictions.  So while the HTH Survey indicated 48% of these folks had major disabilities, only 2.6% were dismissed on the basis of disability through the court.  At the same time, it has been observed by advocates that this ordinance has been used indiscriminately to sweep areas of people regardless of their disabilities.  Using the Community Court as a filtering mechanism in this instance, has proven unduly burdensome on this disabled population and ineffective. It would seem more humane and more cost effective to properly train police officers in an amended ordinance that clearly  states specific exceptions.

While it is recommended that a strict list of exemptions be identified by Council, it is none-the-less the belief of HTH that the best common sense, practical response to the issue in a city seeking to attain world class stature, would be for us to simply  provide an ample supply of benches available to all citizens.

At one point in time, it seemed ok to value other people in this country as 3/5ths of that of other people.  Almost everyone lined up behind that concept...but not everyone.

Richard R. Troxell

President House The Homeless

Author of the soon to be released book on Ending Homelessness:

Looking Up at the Bottom Line

URGENT Call to Action for the #Homeless! Please Help Mobile Loaves & Fishes Now!

Mobile Loaves & Fishes needs your help now to advocate on our behalf to the Austin City Council for a resolution that is coming before the Council this Thursday June 24th.  We need you to email, call or communicate NOW to the Council in support of the pending resolution.  The fastest most immediate way is to send one email that will reach the Mayor and each Council Member by clicking on the following link:

Email Mayor & Council Members NOW

This resolution will instruct City Staff to work with Mobile Loaves & Fishes on either gaining approval from the Federal Aviation Administration to use a tract of land out by the airport or to find another suitable tract of land for us for our groundbreaking Habitat on Wheels RV Community housing model.  This is currently item # 83 on the morning Council Agenda.

You could email something like this:

Dear Mayor and Council Members:

I am writing in support of Item # 83 on the June 24th, 2010 City Council Agenda.  This resolution on behalf of Mobile Loaves & Fishes will place a very powerful tool into the continuum of care tool box by providing permanent, supportive and affordable housing to those that find themselves chronically homeless.

Thank you,

Your Name

You can learn all about our Habitat on Wheels  model by clicking on the link below:

Habitat on Wheels RV Community Model

For over five years Mobile Loaves & Fishes has been lifting chronically homeless brothers & sisters off of the streets of Austin into affordable and permanent RV's and Park Model Homes.  Today we own about 45 of these RV's that house over 55 people.  Many of our residents have been with us since its inception and over 85% have maintained stable housing for well over a year.  We are asking the City to merely provide us with a tract of land suitable for our purposes and we will raise all of the capital necessary to build and operate the community.

Thank you for your attention to this very important issue.  The community needs your help now.  Your voice (and emails!) make a big difference and are heard.

-Alan

Get the official windfall numbers here for the "I Am Here" Texting Campaign #iamhere

1,373

That's right...1,373 texts.  Let me spell that out for you so there is no misunderstanding.  One thousand three hundred seventy three!!  At $10 a pop that adds up to $13,730!  That is a mere $1,730 above our goal of $12,000 to get Danny & Maggie off the streets.  Not quite the windfall some are erroneously reporting.

As many of you recall we had this powerful campaign in April where we put Danny a homeless guy up on a billboard and asked people to text "Danny" to 20222 to donate $10 to help us get he and his wife Maggie into a home.  Go check out the I Am Here website to get a full description of what we accomplished.

For those wondering what we did with all the money we hauled in...well, we got Danny & Maggie into a home. For those reporting we hauled in $100,000 please correct your dis-information.

-Alan

What If Danny & Maggie Don't Make It? #iamhere #homeless

The very powerful I Am Here campaign that lifted Danny & Maggie off of the streets of Austin has accomplished its initial goal; to lift a chronically homeless person off of the streets.  In fact the campaign was so penetrating that the national media coverage is something just short of miraculous.  Go check out www.iamheremlf.org for a complete synopsis of the campaign.  The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive but there have been a few negative naysayers.  Some particularly in the neighborhood immediately around the area where Danny & Maggie lived and panhandled are very pessimistic about the prospect of their success to stay off of the streets.  Their concerns are legitimate.  What if Danny & Maggie don't make it?  What does it mean to Mobile Loaves & Fishes and what does it say about the I Am Here campaign?

First, it is important to understand the population that Mobile Loaves & Fishes has discerned to serve.  The chronically homeless; those by definition who have been living on the streets continuously for over one year or three long-term bouts with homelessness over a three year period AND have a corresponding disability.  This disability could either be physical, mental or addictive or any combination of the three.  Bottom-line is that Mobile Loaves & Fishes' sweet spot of service is to the despised and outcasts of our society.  We love to serve and love on those whom many would hate and despise.  In fact over the course of the five and a half years we have been housing the chronically homeless (serving them now for over twelve years) we have seen some extraordinary success.  We have also been saddened several times when one or more of our brothers or sisters finds their way back to the streets.  It is during these times that our hearts are heavy but in spite of this our hope remains eternal.  Regardless, we now have over an 85% success rate at keeping folks housed for longer than a year; many have now been home for three, four and five years!

Now please understand that Mobile Loaves & Fishes is not a fix and repair, catch and release model.  Our goal is to simply get people into housing they can call home.  We know now nationally that by merely housing people is a more cost effective strategy than keeping people on the streets.  Simply, because of the reduction in use of the health care system and the criminal justice system it costs our communities less money when people are housed.  And we know that without housing it is impossible, to maintain a job, to battle physical and mental illnesses, battle addictions or to improve yourself through education.

We think that coming off of the streets should be easy for people but it is not.  It takes months for folks to acclimate to this new way of life.  The first several months are critical.  People are leaving their known way of life and their known community and being uprooted into a very new way of life and an entirely new community.  It is disruptive to say the least and it is in this adjustment that our efforts are so fragile.  In fact for a few of our residents we have seen them cycle back to the streets a couple of times before we are able to achieve a modest amount of success.  It remains a risk that we are willing to take and continue to pursue.

Danny & Maggie have now been off the streets and away from their known street corner for over a month. Danny has reconnected with his family, particularly his daughter and his son.  We love the progress they are making but also know that it is and will continue to be a struggle for them for some time.  We pray that this time they are able to rediscover their respective purposes in life and be able to heal from the ravages of living on the streets.  Please pray with us!  If they don't make it this time we here at Mobile Loaves & Fishes will continue to love them and to serve them as if they were Christ Himself.  We will continue to remain hopeful for them and provide them with other opportunities to escape from the streets if they wish.  We know in the end that we can only be a vessel for their success but they are the ones who are truly in control.  As for their home so many generously provided through their donations?  Well, someone else will then get the opportunity discover what home is; a place of permanence, a dwelling place, a storied place, a safe resting place, a place of hospitality, a place of embodied inhabitation, a place of orientation and a place of affiliation and belonging.

-Alan

Powerful Metrics from I Am Here Campaign

Incredible metrics from the powerful I Am Here campaign created for Mobile Loaves & Fishes by T-3.

This report was as of Friday May 7. But we know that the campaign is still getting lots of air time.

With the social media traffic we are now over 10,000,000 impressions.

Total Story Count: 231

Total Nielsen Audience: 9,182,034

Total Run Time: 5:06:05

Total Calculated Ad Equivalency: $179,056

Total Calculated Publicity Value: $537,135

The Passion of Christ Playing Out Daily for the #Homeless

Ann Andree co-journey’s with folks on the street at The Gateway, a 108 bed men’s shelter and community drop-in in Toronto, Canada. (http://www.thegateway.ca) On a really good day, Ann gets to play a part in some of her homeless friends journey beyond homelessness as supervisor of counselling services. She is a member of the Wine Before Breakfast community that Brian Walsh pastors at the University of Toronto. This sermon was written for that community.

Introduction

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, Oh Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

My dear brothers and sisters, in reading this passage, we have just entered into a sacred space and joined Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane.  It is my prayer that we are able to journey deeper together into the dark groves of Gethsemane.  It is my prayer that we come to understand together, the abandonment Christ experienced in the garden alone.

Joe

There are few people in our broken world who are better able to connect with Christ in his moment of complete abandonment that our friends experiencing homelessness on the streets.  Few people know better then these folks what it is like to die, desolately abandoned by everyone who has ever been important to you.  For those of you who don’t know, Dion, Jake and I have the privilege of walking alongside these folks experiencing homelessness at the Gateway-- a 108 bed shelter, which too often is considered home to men who have been cut off from every other segment of society, many of whom have long since been abandoned by friends and family.  It breaks my heart when yet another person has no emergency contact to give me, no one who would know if they were dead or alive. It breaks my heart when yet another person is dying in a cold, white-washed hospital room with nobody to sit by their bedside, just to be and to face death alongside of them. It breaks my heart, when, for the third time in three months, we have held a funeral for yet another person on the streets because, somehow, shelter staff have become the closest to family that these individuals have had.  Folks on the streets, they get loneliness and abandonment profoundly.  They know what it is like to die alone.  They truly get the lonely journey Christ was on to the cross.

Two weeks ago, a man who I hadn’t seen for two years walked into my office.  We’ll call him Joe.  He walked in, shoulder slumped, eyes to the ground, feeling trapped by the circumstances that surround him.   Not unlike Christ, he is in the court system, trapped by conditions placed on him by a judge who doesn’t even know him.  A talented tradesman, he has a criminal record and cannot find meaningful work.  His family?  He has a son--somewhere--but his wife has long since left him, taking their son with her.  Joe refuses to call a dingy, dark room in a crack house his new home--which is virtually the only thing he can afford on social assistance. Joe sees living on the streets in a sleeping bag the best option out of a limited few available to him.  When Joe walked into my office, he stated in an uncharacteristically flat affect that if he could not find even a glimmer of hope out of his situation, then he would create a suicide plan.  I said to him that I would be devastated if that was his ultimate decision.  He said he needed to do what he needed to do. In other words, if death was what brought hope to him, that was the path he would take.

My dear community, the passion story, like the streets, is not a romantic drama unfolding.  It is dark, dangerous and desolate.

Mark 14:32-52

Moving from the streets of Toronto to the passion story in Jerusalem, we find that Jesus has just finished the last supper with his disciples, warning them—and perhaps even reminding himself-- that they would all desert him.  And all of them denied His words.  Peter--always the rash Rock, boisterously brave after all that wine from the Last Supper says he’ll stick by Christ.  Together, they walked to the Garden of Gethsemane, and the dark groves enveloped them.  Christ, as God, knew he was journeying into the heart of darkness, the chilling climax.  But now, Christ, as human, was experiencing the cold reality of the journey.  And the journey was terrifying.  Mark says, “And sorrow overtook him and his was filled with grief”.  Take a moment to let these words drag you into this unfolding terror: Deep, dark tumultuous suffering.  Anguish. Genuine horror.

That Christ began in the Garden of Gethsemane on his final part of the journey to the cross it is significant. Humans were once expelled from the Garden of Eden, sentenced to live in the mess we made, and now, the one human who had proven himself worthy of living in the Garden of Eden enters into the darkness of the Garden of Gethsemane.  But instead of finding full communion in the Garden, Christ finds betrayal and abandonment.   It all fell apart in the original garden.  And now, our hope for redemption was beginning in this garden. 

That said, despite our hope for redemption, darkness still covered the Garden of Gethsemane.  At this point in the journey to the cross, there was no sigh of relief for the dawning of our redemption yet.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, we humans were not out of the woods of our broken world yet-- because alongside Christ’s mission of redemption was temptation: could Christ drink the cup?  Do you remember, when, at the beginning of Christ’s ministry, he had been tempted in the desert three times, and three times he had chosen to trust his father and remain obedient?  As Brian pointed out to me, in Mark, unlike any of the other gospels’ renditions of the temptation passage, the phrase, “And then Satan left him” is conspicuously absent in that first chapter, suggesting that throughout his whole ministry, Christ had been struggling with temptation-- precariously, carefully journeying towards the cross without falling.  One wrong move and humanity’s hope for getting out of this mess we’re in would be shattered into trillions of unfixable pieces.  And here, in the garden, began Christ’s final temptation:   Would he be able to drink this cup?

Precisely because the temptation to give up the cup was so utterly terrifying, because the journey ahead was so dark and desolate, Christ had no other option but to go before his abba, father, placing his trust in Him.  He prayed. Communion with his father was the only way that he would not fall into temptation and give up on the redemption plan.  It’s a Catch-22/a paradox, however, because the temptation to have the cup taken from him arises precisely from a place of utter trust in his Father-- and knowing that there will come a point on this journey when the Father will leave him.  William Lane, in his commentary says, “The dreadful sorrow and anxiety, then, out of which the prayer for the passing of the cup springs, is not an expression of fear before a dark destiny, nor a shrinking from the prospect of physical suffering and death.  It is rather the horror of the one who lives wholly for the Father at the prospect of the alienation from God which is entailed in the judgment upon sin which Jesus assumes.”

The answer to the question “Would Jesus be able to drink this cup?” is yes.  Not unlike Joe, Jesus knew that hope could only come through his death.  For Joe, however, his hope was in death in and of itself to stop the pain of his broken world.  For Christ, his hope was not death, but to go beyond death, so that people like Joe could cling to the hope of life being better than the brokenness we see.  And there was no other option, no other way except to drink the cup.  It’s another Catch-22/paradox: Christ must die forsaken in order that we might live in hope.

The journey towards hope, towards redemption, is a journey dependent upon prayer.  Christ modeled that for his disciples and for us in his darkest hours.  Christ, even in his darkest hour yet, yearns for his disciples to have the same relationship with the Father in the midst of suffering and trial.  He knows that they too will be facing temptations: temptations to abandon, betray and deny within hours.  And Christ knows that the only way that they will be able to stay awake in the midst of such temptation is to pray.  But we know how the story goes: instead of prayer, Peter, James and John fall asleep on him.  Not once-- but three times, Christ asks them to stay awake with him.  Were they not able to see how distressed Jesus was?  Staying awake to pray was a simple task, compared to the politics, the beatings, the humiliations which hadn’t even begun yet.  The first time Jesus finds Peter, James and John asleep, his response is critical: “Simon, do you sleep?  Did you not have the strength to stay awake one hour?  Stay awake and pray that you might not enter into temptation; the spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak.”  Notice that Jesus reverts back to Peter’s old, pre-disciple name, Simon.  Peter, The Rock, who, that same evening, had rashly and courageously vowed to stand by Jesus, no matter what, is being harshly stripped of the name given to him when he became a disciple.  Here, Jesus was reminding his disciples that the only way to face the trials ahead was to pray, to place trust in God.

Not only was he reminding his disciples to pray, he was also asking that they stay awake with him.  He has said earlier over supper in no uncertain terms that he was heading towards death and betrayal.  And they were falling asleep. It is certainly a very despairing situation to be in to know that the very folks you are planning to save are falling asleep on you when you quite obviously look distressed.  But it got worse.  From the passive, sleepy abandonment of Peter, James and John to the active, deliberate betrayal of Judas.  Judas kisses Christ.  A political arena unfolds.  And things got even worse: the disciples, unprepared for that which Christ had prepared them for, abandoned Christ.  He was alone.  Completely abandoned.  And it is with this shame of abandonment of Christ that the church enters into Maundy Thursday next week.

Let’s return to the story of Joe. A week after Joe had informed me that he might choose suicide as his route, he walked into my office, and, although he was not boisterous, he stood with resolve and told me that he had decided to move forward rather than choose suicide.  When I asked what had prompted that decision, he simply said, “You said you would be devastated.” Joe needed someone who would be willing to walk with him on his dark and difficult journey.   That’s human.  Christ, as human and as God, wanted his disciples—his friends-- to walk alongside him too.

My dear brothers and sisters, Maundy Thursday is approaching.  Traditionally, Maundy Thursday is a time when the church stays awake to pray in order to make up for what the disciples lacked when they fell asleep. We have a second chance to return to Christ in the dark Garden of Gethsemane to make up for the disciples’ abandonment. While we cannot go back to the Garden of Gethsemane, there are those in our midst who have been abandoned, like Joe, and we must begin in prayer—just as Christ began in prayer-- if we are to move towards walking alongside of them on their journey.

May we enter into Maundy Thursday in prayer, rather than in the shame of our abandonment of Christ.   May we enter into Maundy Thursday in prayer just as Christ taught us through his actions in the garden and when he told the disciples to pray.  May we--in trust, prayer and submission to the father’s perfect will--walk alongside those in our midst who have been abandoned like Christ was abandoned. Insofar as we stay awake to pray on Maundy Thursday, let us not lose sight of the fact that Christ says, “Whatever you do the least of these, you do unto me” and remember that we are called to be moved from prayer into action in Remembrance of Christ.

The journey, although sacred, is dark.  May we have the courage that Simon Peter lacked to drink from the cup that offers hope and to eat the bread that sustains us in our journey.

Street Retreat 2010: Reflections from Steven Hebbard, Day 2

More of Steven's thoughts as he goes deeper into the wonderful journey of the street retreat.

 

Day 2- Morning

After a later than expected wake up call by the security guard at the church we slept at last night, I spent an hour or so hanging out with my three new friends at the gazebo at Woolrich Park.  It was a great chance to hear Ronnie’s story in more detail.  Ronnie is a 24 year old African American with three years towards a Forensic’s major at Texas A&M.  He seems the most grounded of all the people I have met so far.  This could be due to the relatively short period that he has been homeless.   He isn’t addicted to drugs and didn’t so much as light a cigarette in the 16 or so hours I spent with him.  His friends say he doesn’t even drink.  This is in marked contrast to Angelo who lights up, on average, every ten minutes.

Ronnie is the first veteran of the Iraqi war I have ever met.  He served on a medical surgeon team in Fallujah where he participated in several s operations, mostly involving soldiers who lost limbs in battle.  Unlike the cadavers that he worked with at A&M, cutting into these living bodies, writhing with emotion did not sit well with him.  But when his term ended he nevertheless reenlisted because, where else was he going to go?  Toward the end of his term, he developed a thyroid condition that caused him to lose about 65 pounds.  The Army thought this was the result of PT at first, but when testing made it clear that he had a medical abnormality, he was prevented from staying in Iraq.

Upon returning home, he did not have the option of staying at any relative’s homes.  His greatest ambition is to finish college and become a forensic scientist, determining the cause of death of homicides.  The problem is, though he is qualified for the GI Bill, the military will not release any money or grants to him unless he can show proof of permanent address.  Without access to family, or friends, Ronnie became homeless.  He joined forces with Angelo and Jennifer about 4 months ago, determining that they would work together toward housing and success – a set-up probably similar to the kind of team-oriented unit he experienced in the military; certainly the living conditions could not be any more Spartan.   This unit is strong and motivated but even after four months of looking, Ronnie has not been able to get a lasting job, the first step toward his goal.

After saying goodbye to these new friends (giving them my number so that we might meet again in the future), a few of the other retreaters and I headed Eastward toward Angel House, a Baptist Church that serves as one of the only permanent coffee sources for the men like me who are addicted to the stuff.  Though the supply is abundant the window is short (30 minutes) and we arrived just after they ran out.   This was because, on the way, our gang ran into a pleasant distraction.  A couple of young dred-lock laden bohemians were dancing on Congress Avenue at 6th street to beats on one of the guys’ laptops.  It was an open-invitation dance party that was too much fun to pass by.  After a couple of jigs, we began to talk.  These guys first met at the Rainbow Festival which was last held in a National Forrest of New Mexico.  After meeting there, each felt individually called by God to come to Austin.  They rediscovered each other when they arrived.  Together, they dance for God as a witness to the “goodness of their Lord and Savior”.  One of them was miraculously freed from a drug addiction 8 months ago and told us his testimony.  Before we left for breakfast, we held hands at the intersection and prayed a prayer of blessing on our new friend’s ministry.  It would have been fun to dance off down the street but, alas, the batteries had run out on the laptop.

Day 2- Afternoon

After the sadness descended on us from the lack of coffee in our immediate future, our hearts were immediately brightened as several of the other homeless hanging out at Angel House gave us pastries that they had wrapped up for later.  As an aside, if I haven’t mentioned it before, the generosity of men and women on the street is truly awe inspiring.  It seems evident to me that the less you have, the easier it is to give some away.

We stuck nearby to the house and also lunched on the property (being sure to get there in plenty of time to get some this time).  Afterward, our group split up and I met up with Alan while meandering north on an aimless time-killing jaunt.  We shared stories of the morning and the evening before, and I moved on in search of God.

The afternoon was full of walking for me.  Not sure what I was looking for, I walked most of the way from E. Caesar Chavez to 26th Street on the drag and then back down to near 11th.  It felt strangely good to stretch my legs and to experience life as an invisible person.  I was barely noticed by any but other homeless people who I tried to talk with as often as it seemed welcome.

At 3pm our group rejoined together and talked through our first full day on the streets.  I loved  hearing everyone’s stories.  Afterward, Stubbs BBQ and Mobile Loaves’ partnered at Woolrich Park in serving the first leg of the “Feed the World” tour to raise awareness about hunger and poverty in America.  The park was packed with people waiting to get their Stubbs sandwich.   While awaiting the truck’s disbursement, a fellow on the team and I sat down and talked with Jerry, who, it turns out, was the third person I met who had recently contemplated or attempted suicide.  At near 50 years of age, Jerry lives alone in a camp so remote in the Texas Hill Country that in three years, it has never been disrupted in any way.  He is trained in multiple specialist trades but also has several felony charges against him, most from a mentally unstable wife that has come in and out of his life for the last five years.  As such, he can’t get a job.  Talking with Jerry made me feel ashamed of a recent bout of depression I felt only a few days before.  Here is a guy who is being aged out of the career market, has no body for manual labor, and who is completely alone, though coping with thousands of others in similar circumstances.  Together they form a silent, heavily burdened horde, who has ambition but no clear sense of direction; seemingly living in the ‘day to day’ so that the’ week to week’ is not too overwhelming.

Day 2- Evening

After the dinner feast, I decided it was time to truly cut ties with everyone.  I alerted Alan that I was going on a walkabout and would see him tomorrow.  My gut said to travel South so, after a brief restroom stop at the downtown library, I headed for Congress and the pedestrian river to South Austin.  Near Congress and 5th, with the intention of catching a bus down SoCo in pursuit of what God wanted me to experience for the night, I felt the distinct call to turn back.  One of the guys with us on the trip owned a tract of land on Congress and suggested that it might make a good location for a Downtown community garden.  I knew I should go and check this property out before the sun went down.  And so I headed north.  The empty, grass-covered, lot looks on 11 Street with a clear view of the Capital grounds.  It is not large and doesn’t get good sun, but would be a beautiful garden location.  Walking around the area, I noticed two men sitting down in the shade.  One country-western looking young man was playing a guitar and an old man I who looked homeless was listening.  I walked around and pondered the garden’s potential, squeezing the dirt as an impromptu soil test in my hand.  All the while, I listened to the music.  While pondering one of the historical markers I heard the singer proclaim, “and this is a song about Jesus.”  Listening closely at this point, I knew where I was meant to spend my evening.

After the song was concluded, I asked if it was ok to join their group.  Upon closer inspection, I recognized the older man.  With a thick long gray beard and a soft but commanding voice, he reminded me of John Muir or some prophet out of the Old Testament.  As many times as I had seen him, he always seemed to look at me with a “knowing” look.  The singer could not have been any more different.  He looked young, childish even.  He wore the sort of country western wear that spoke of the discount section of a small town western store.  Jake was the singer and Josiah was the older fellow.

Jake played ballads, hymns, and folk songs from Woodie Guthrie, to Cash, to several that he had written himself.  After a few minutes, I thought I was witnessing an old musical Tent Revival with an audience of one man.   Jake had his Bible out and would talk through what he liked about a song and then cut to a Biblical passage that echoed his thought.   Josiah would tune in with a correction or to echo Jake’s thought, adding his own rumination.  After several songs, it became apparent I wasn’t watching an old school revival but the theological reflections through music of two old friends.  The two men had met nine years before through their mutual acquaintances with Duane Severance, known to most as Austin’s Pastor to the Homeless.  Duane earned his place in Austin sparring musically with Lesley on the corner of 6^th and Congress.  Lesley would throw accusations and Duane would return with a song and quiet word from the Bible.   Duane passed away a few weeks ago from a car accident- way too young.  Lesley was also in an accident recently and barely survived.  Josiah observed how ironic it was that God would choose to take one and leave the other.  Perhaps it was injustice he noted, or perhaps God’s mercy in giving Lesley a chance to get right before his time to face his maker truly does come.

Nearly two hours elapsed over songs, scripture, edification, and correction.  I left well blessed and received much encouragement to pursue the community garden at the sight.  God prepared a church for me tonight, made of body, heart, and memory.  It was a beautiful time of grace and peace.

I left to wander south.  I pondered some of the Bible scriptures that Jake tossed out at Jo’s Coffee, where I was generously provided with a bit sustenance for my breakfast, free of charge.  Walking a bit, I found an abandoned church nearby that seems a safe and quiet place for me to make my bed.  I gathered some cardboard from behind a few local businesses so the cold ground will not wake me.  A plywood board will guard my bed from the street’s view.   I think I will sleep in deep rest tonight.

*note: names have been changed

Street Retreat 2010: Reflections from Steven Hebbard, Day 1

Steven, the Mobile Loaves & Fishes KP Programs Director, has been on a street retreat for a few days.  Here are his thoughts.

Day  1

I spent the afternoon and evening of our first day getting to know a tight knit group of young survivers at Woolrich Park.  It’s 10:30 pm as I write this.  James and I have just returned from a Johnny Sac run to the dumpster near the downtown youth correctional facility.  The story he tells me is that when you are admitted to the jail, anything you have on your person that might be questionable is seized by the guards.  Since the city can’t keep this on city property, the seized material is placed in the grabage where an underground economy has developed in the distribution of reacquired goods.  James is seen by some as a veritable Robin Hood, but he called himself a Ghetto Santa Claus .  He doesn’t sell his goods but distributes them freely to friends and strangers alike.  He’s been living on the streets off and on for the last 12 years, since he was 18.  He used to get Social Securtity for Bio-polar, ADHD, mild retardation (his words) and scholiosis of the back, a condition that makes him abnormally sensitive to the cold.  He walks with a serious limp from a car collision that resulted from his evident lack of concern for oncoming cars during the downtown nightime hours.

He has the city schedule down and knows precisely what trash cans contain what and at what times they will hold the good stuff.  He walks me a few blocks over where we fill up water bottles for the group, past a collection of cops that he tells me go to this intersection to hang out and talk rather than look for trouble.  The dumpsters he will be inspecting with me are ten feet tall.  The city began to lock up the sides after too many people were taking out garbage and leaving a mess all around.  The only way in now is from the top.  He has to dive down, a nasty little duty evident from the wet shorts he bears upon the completion of his task.  We return with three quarters of a 20 ounce soda bottle and one large sac of garbage that he says bears all the Johnny Sacs that we’ll need for the night.  Upon returning, mostly young people from upstairs and down the street come, looking for food.  Sometime, James trades for cigarattes but usually he gives his treasure away freely.  While others collect their food, James explains that he is a Christian, “like everybody else” in that he belives he ought to do right by others.  When I ask if he believes in Jesus, he replies, “A Higher Power yes; Jesus, no.”  He is actually a wiccan.  He worships the moon and can tell the time by its orbit.  This explains why he is so comfortable in the night time hours.

The leader of the pack I’m with is named Angelo.  When James and I return Angelo and wife Jennifer are already sleeping, but promply wake up to dig through the bag and put away whatever items might be useful for the next day.  Sadly the bag only contains food, no cigarettes!  The Johnnny Sacs from the previous afternoon were the only dinner that this troupe gets as the Food Not Bombs vegetarian dinner (that I enjoyed immensely)  was not their cup of tea.  Angelo and Jennifer have a little more dinner as they sit nestled in a single queen sized comforter entangled in each other.  They smoke and talk for a bit with Ronnie, the third member of the troupe.   Angelo is 20 years old.  Jennifer is 19 and Ronnie is 24.  Angelo has been in CPS since the age of 2 and has been in most foster care facilities in the state.  He spent a brief bit of time in the army and some time in prison.  His hair is in a million tightly bound knots so that it will grow out faster and denies to Jennifer that he is trying to grow dreds.  He is earnest about finding a job, as are all three of them.  They have developed a plan to go in together on a place when they get the money.  All seem smart enough to do anything.  Angelo, Jennifer, and I played Rummy to pass the hours while Ronnie was reclaiming a hit of his stashed stuff.  He beat me heartily.

Angelo and Jennifer are both bi-sexuals, a not-so-uncommon thing, I found out, among the young on the street.  Angelo was homeless since the age of 15.  He met Jennifer last year before her mom died of a rare illness. The two fell in love.  When Angelo introduced Jennifer to his “Street Dad”, he asked her to call him Dad, but she refused saying that she couldn’t unless he was really family.  Ten minutes later, Angelo proposed and they have been married for severeal months now.

The time is now past 11 and I am going to attempt to get some shut eye. More soon.

Posted in Steven | 1 Comment »
Tags: dinner, homeless, Mobile Loaves and Fishes, Street Retreat
Just a glimpse of beauty on a Friday morning.
March 25, 2010

For my (Jen’s) mom, hospitality seems to naturally surround her. Upon entering my parent’s home, you will promptly be invited to have a seat and make your self at home, and would you like anything to drink? My mom remembers people’s favorite drink and makes sure to have that beverage available the next time you should happen to stop by. For me, that usually means there’s a gallon of McAlister’s Sweet Tea in the fridge with my name on it when I come to  a visit.

I have learned to take after my mom and it has almost become natural for me. I have enjoyed serving people in this way at our weekly Stone Soup Breakfasts. I believe it creates a sense of belonging when someone hands you your coffee with the somehow necessary 5 packs of sugar, or when someone know that you prefer orange juice.

Last Friday, I was blessed by this sense of belonging. I was listening to one of our residents’ fascinating story of how he ended up on the streets when I heard my name being called from across the trailer. Well, sort of my name! It sounded a little more like “Jan” and a little less like “Jen” and always makes me smile. Jimmy is a 65 year old man with a kind heart and a playful sense of humor that makes me laugh so hard I can barely breathe sometimes. He wanted to know if I would like a coffee refill. I wish I had the words to better paint the picture of beauty that this simple act meant to me. I felt so cared for. Jimmy is learning that our community is a place of service and lovingly played his part.

It’s these hundreds of little unnoticed moments: at the Stone Soup Breakfast, at a workday, at the booth at the Farmer’s Market that make me realize how so incredibly blessed I am to be part of this loving and healing community.

What It Felt Like To Be #Homeless: A Word From Gary M.

For me, it was a sense of not belonging to the rest of society, not being a part of the world others seemed to enjoy living in. Shame and loneliness created fear and loathing of what I was and what I would become, not to mention what others thought of me, or fear of who I may be confronted by.

These may seem as character defects, or personal traits, that are evident in a lot of people within society, but the homeless definitely live in the proverbial “Glass Houses” within plain view of society. Quite possibly, this may be the reason most of the homeless population wanders far from their “homes”.
For me that was not the case since I had lived and worked in Austin, Texas for the previous 25 yrs., before I finally surrendered to whatever it was that caused me to become homeless.

I met homeless who were there, “on the streets”, because of the loss of a relationship (wife, husband, parent), loss of economic security (job, the house, funding for school), lack of social, physical, and mental ability to deal with life on life’s terms in this society; and, like me, the inability to deal with life because of the disease of addiction to alcohol or drugs. Not everyone is an addict when they become homeless, but “if you hang around a barbershop long enough your bound to get a haircut”. I have met individuals, who are by trade civil and electrical engineers, schoolteachers, business management and department heads, and civil and construction engineers (some with degrees and licenses). There are gourmet chefs and world-class musicians living “on the street”.

On the day of Thanksgiving after the loss of my father, I found myself sitting on the street corner where I “worked” holding a sign feeling lonely and sorry for myself, as tears flowed. There was not much traffic driving by and those that did I knew were going to spend the day with family and friends of which I thought I had none. As I continued to sulk and cry for fear of not making the money I thought I would need to supply my “medicine”, my drug of choice in my addiction, I spoke to the God of my understanding of my fears and I feel He spoke to me. I heard Him say, “You are always crying to me for help, but as I have never denied you in times of need I need you to help me show others the love I have for everyone.”
 
From that point forward, I lived another two years on the street and carried a small Bible which I read daily before praying each morning. Some nights, when the light was available under the bridge, I would read and share it with others. Another practice I began, afterward, was allowing the Lord to place on my heart what words would be displayed on the cardboard sign I would hold that day and no longer attempting to influence passers by to give me money out of sympathy or humor. This practice kept me in the practice of reading wherever God led me in His book. I found a lot of people looked anxiously for what I printed and some even thank me for displaying what they needed to hear that day. Sharing it with others kept me close to Him with the Hope that I would find a solution to overcome my situation of homelessness and life of addiction.

I met Alan Graham, for the first time, in December of 1999. He, along with a few others had just began a ministry of reaching out and bringing to the homeless the items they felt they would need to survive another day. The ministry called Mobile Loaves and Fishes, from what I understand, was a calling from the Lord, to Alan, to help God help others truly in need. This last period of homelessness for me from 2005-08, I had been sleeping in the woods off of the side of a major interstate highway where I “panhandled” to support myself. In 2006 I noticed one of Alan’s trucks pull onto the corner of the feeder road up on the grass. As I approached the truck, I recognized Alan with a group of volunteers as they passed out food items, drinks, and some toiletries. I had recently seen an article about a program they had begun called “Habitat On Wheels” and as Alan greeted me, the manipulative mind of the addict spoke out and said, “Alan, I’ll tell you why I am out here. I am an addict and can’t get a job because I can’t get off drugs, because I need someplace to lie down while suffering from withdrawals, I can’t bathe or keep clean clothes, and besides I am a convicted drug felon and no one will rent to me anyway. So, I feel as if I could be a productive member of society if I just had a place to live.” Alan smugly, but in a positive manner, replied, “Brother, I think I can help you out with a place to live and something to eat, but first you have to get off the drugs and find a means of support.”

Feeling I had given it my best shot, and knowing at least I had been honest with him, this turned out to be an honest and respectful friendship. Alan continued to frequent “my corner” and when he would introduce me to new volunteers he would ask me to tell them the same thing I had shared with him. One afternoon Alan introduced me to a couple that volunteered and asked me to tell them why I was homeless. I shared with David Shiflet and Kay Dalton that “I was an addict and didn’t like it, but that was what I was.” David, who spoke and appeared to be of an intelligent, decent stature mentioned, “I know a little about addiction. Somebody close to me suffered much the same as you and today he has been clean and sober for two years.” Kay cheerfully agreed and as they handed me the items they had to offer I responded, “Thank you, but I wish they would carry toilet tissue on these trucks.” Kay laughed and David suggested I grab a pair of the shoes someone had donated. I said that’s alright, you don’t have any to fit me. David, looking confused said, “How do you know?” after telling him nobody ever had extra shoes to fit me because I wear a size 13 or 14, he said, “I bet I do.” Looking confused myself, I asked what he meant and he said, “I wear a size 13 myself and I’ll bring them tomorrow on my lunch break, and the toilet tissue!” I heard promises of people returning many times and thought no more of it until, the next day around noon when David and Kay pulled up behind me as I held my sign on the corner. Hearing their honk and recognizing them, I walked over and David handed me a pair of size 13 Tennis Shoes that I sentimentally still own today. They also brought the tissue and a few other items and I felt guilty when David handed me $20. I said, “You know what I do with this.” He said, “That’s why you said you were out here, and here is my personal phone number in case there is anything else we can do for you.”

Within two weeks I had made a decision that I would not be able to continue living in addiction and on the streets. I cried again, this time telling my God I would not make it much longer and I needed help. The very next morning, while searching through a tattered wallet, I found David’s number. I called his cell phone and left a similar message. I also emailed Alan telling him the same. In less than 24 hrs, Kay pulled up again to “my corner” and asked, “Where were you last night? We had a bed for you at the Austin Recovery Drug Treatment facility.” Had was all I heard, and thought I had blown my chance to get out of this mess when Kay said, “We have one for you tomorrow, if you still want it.” With a joyous cry of relief I responded yes, and Kay informed me to be at that spot, that night, and she had already rented a hotel room for me to sleep comfortably my last night before I entered treatment.

After Kay picked me up that evening and I entered the hotel room, I dropped to my knees and cried in gratitude to my God for doing for me what I could not do for myself. I thanked Him that He had placed people in my life that cared enough about others to seemingly “go out of their way” to help. And at that point I decided I was willing to do whatever it took to get off drugs, live in a home like others, and become a productive member of society.

It has not been easy, but it was made a lot simpler knowing that God has placed, in the hearts of others, the love and compassion to reach out and help. David and Kay have been personally responsible for helping at least seven or eight other individuals off the streets and into homes. And if it was not for the ministry of Mobile Loaves and Fishes reaching out to where these people are located and providing the “Human Connection”, many would not know anyone cares. I call these individuals who help my angels, because God placed them in my life.

As Kay and I drove from that corner October 31,2008 she pointed to the setting sun and we prayed together that would be the last sunset I would have to see living on the streets, holding a sign, and addicted to using drugs. Since that day, I have been drug and alcohol free. Today I work a full time position and support myself, while helping others. Today, I live in a home provided by the Mobile Loaves and Fishes Habitat on Wheels program and have a sense of community, of belonging. Today I am not lonely and do not fear because I know, my God will provide for me and I continue to share with others the Love He has for us all. None of this would have occurred if someone had not reached out to me and shared the Love God has to give.

A Word From Gary: It Took 12 Steps...

…. a few angels to help me discover the most joy and more happiness than I have ever known in my life. Some may consider that a far stretch, considering my 53 years of existence. With 40 years of it involving some type of substance abuse in one form or another, it may not seem so unreal.
My name is Gary M. and I am a grateful, recovering Heroin Addict.
    That happiness I found started with a seemingly small step of honesty, admitting I was powerless over the disease of addiction and it had made my life a living insanity. Powerless yes; I knew I needed to quit a long time before but I could not so I had surrendered to the fact that I was an addict and would continue to use until I died. Insanity for sure; Addiction had deceived me into a feeling of worthlessness – “Nobody cared, anymore. No one would surely hire an addict like me.”, “I’m tired of hurting everyone so I’ll just kill myself so they don’t hurt anymore.”, ”Jails and prison just come with the territory.”, “Well if I couldn’t get any of that right, I may as well just live on the streets. Without rent to pay I would afford more dope!” These thoughts and more had consumed Eighty percent of my life.
    The second step involved being open-minded that something “Greater than me” could restore some sense of sanity to my life. I had recognized and spoken to a God of my understanding since adolescence and everything I was taught or experienced said He was able to make miracles occur. I felt a miracle was what it would take before I could remain clean and sober without restraint.
    Standing on a corner where I panhandled upwards of $150/day, tears fell down my cheeks as I became willing to let go of my self-will and my life as I knew it, I took my third step to recovery asking my God to take my life and show me His will for it. In the last 16 months, I have had to repeat these three steps many times, always telling myself and God – I am powerless, He could change me, and I would let Him.
    I had to do a little work to figure out what and why I was like I was. I took a fourth step and looked at people, places, and things in my life, which continually bugged me to the point of fear or not caring. Some of the fault may have been placed in my life by those things, but why had I allowed it to happen? Why had God let it happen? I discovered I had, but He had not. He had given me a working brain and conscience and the free will to make my own decisions. I looked at the part I had played into making my decisions and accepted where I had been wrong.
    So, for my fifth step, I admitted to myself, my God, and another recovering addict what I had seen and discovered about myself and why I thought it played a part in my addiction. This was not an easy task when my entire life I had blamed others for my self-deceit, bad breaks, and insane lifestyle.
    The sixth step I took, I admitted to my God I was ready for Him to have all of me, good and bad. For a seventh step I asked Him to remove what I had seen caused the bad in me. Simple yes, but the human nature is wired for a fight or flight survival mode and some of these things may take a little time to discard. But I was ready and I admitted it.
    I took my eighth step with the list of persons I felt I had harmed and admitted I was willing to do whatever it took not to ever use drugs again, even if that meant making amends to them all. For my ninth step, I made those direct amends, sometimes reluctantly, unless I felt it would harm them or someone else more.
    My tenth step requires I continually take a look at my character defects, which had kept me in addiction, and if I feel they have caused personal conflict with others I promptly admit it to myself, God, and them.
    Today, and almost everyday for the last sixteen months, I pray and meditate to my God and ask Him to let me know His will for me and the strength to carry it out. My eleventh step consists of this daily routine often praying to Him to “Take me where You want me to go; Let me meet who You want me to meet; and place the words on my lips You want me to say to them.”, humbly asking Him to “take my will and my life, teach me how to live and to guide me in my recovery.” - (My third step prayer) Like I said before, I have to continually go back to those first three steps. I can’t do this myself, but with His help I can.
    Having experienced this Spiritual Awakening by taking these other steps, my twelfth step allows me to share the message of my recovery with those still suffering and, whether they decide to try it or not, it helps me continue to stay clean and sober by practicing these principles in my everyday life. This may sound like a lot of work, but it’s simple if these steps are taken slowly “One Step at a Time”. “Simply Baby Steps.” Keeping it simple and not making it difficult. There are literally millions, like me, who have taken these same steps and are willing to hold a hand while others learn to walk the walk. We do this because somebody did it for us.
    Those angels I mentioned are real. I met Alan Graham many years ago, and when I told him I “had a problem” and could he help, his response was, “He could help but first I had to take care of what created the problem –get sober. Then I needed to become self-supportive in order to afford a normal lifestyle. After that, he could assist me in finding a solution to the problem of no place to call home.” Alan Graham is an angel in my eyes; to many homeless he would be nominated for sainthood. Alan helped start an organization that assists homeless, and others in need, to receive the basics necessary to stay alive while in this world. St. Alan, I don’t believe that name has been taken. His organization uses many volunteers to visit and help distribute basic food and supplies to the homeless.
    I met Kay Dalton and David Shiflet, two of those volunteers, about one week before I began to take my steps. As I shared with them what I felt had caused me to become homeless, my addiction, they shared how someone close to them had taken twelve steps and recovered from similar circumstances. Kay and David returned the next day, giving me some personal items and their personal phone number if I needed anything more. I believe that was God letting me know he was sending me angels to help if I was willing to allow, all I would have to do is call and ask. A week later I had made a decision and I made that call and asked for help. Within 24 hours, God had sent those angels back and they held my hand as I took my first steps to recovery. Today, I thank God for sending those angels because I believe they helped me save my life and find that aforementioned happiness and joy. If God has angels on this earth, Kay and David are two of them. I have witnessed them as guardian angels over many of God’s creatures. They are also my closest friends.
    I mentioned the millions, like me, who are willing to hold a hand as others try to take these steps. God gave me another angel, an addict like me, that for conditions of anonymity I’ll just call “Tj”. Tj has shared he has not been perfect in his walk to recovery, but he had a desire to live his life differently and free from addiction. He was willing to do whatever it took to gain that and, by the grace of God, he has shared with me how he did it and I am truly grateful to God for sending him to show me “How it works” for him. I listen to his advice and suggestions, and again reluctantly sometimes, follow it because I feel my God has gifted me with him as an angel of recovery.
    Please, if you are an addict like me or afraid you could be, understand I tried several times to quit using drugs but I had no choice. In my DNA I am an addict. Choices are made for ice cream, clothing, and friends; all of which you can change your mind if you decide you don’t like the flavor, color, or personality. If you are an addict like me, it will take a decision to allow yourself to accept you have a progressive fatal disease that cannot be cured, but it can be treated. Cancer, HIV, and Addiction never go away but treated properly, a seemingly normal life can be had while we are still in this world.
     I told you, my God can perform miracles and if you knew the rest of my story you would agree – 16 months clean and sober, for an addict like me, is a miracle. My God loves every creature He has created in this world. He loves an addict like me, and He loves an addict like you. Just let Him, and let Him place angels in your life to hold your hand while you take a few simple, baby steps. Whether you are still suffering or not, I love you too. Join with me as I pray to my God to “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. To be able to change those things I can in my life. And the wisdom to know the difference.” Receive His blessings, He loves you.

                            

~  Gary M. – Date of Sobriety 11/01/08 ~